John, need help

I don't know what to do with a daughter that is smarter, I would like to introduce her to Eve, and donald, they are the one's whom can help her this summer. her mind is far beyound what I can do, she has so much to offer this world. math is her gift, it's like she reads it and can figure out much in her head and when laurel and I try and figure out how she came to the answer to the problem she just figures it out in her head. I would like for her to spend some time with Eve and Donald to help her expand and understand where and how she is able to come up with the answers. I just want some help for her. she has so much to offer.

To old friends

To an old friend.

There are times when I think, that I have been handed a bag of rotten tomatoes. But somehow I get soup. why is that? I have a 9 year old daughter that does not fit in with, the other girls in school. and feels that somehow this is her fault. That she needs the other girls to accept her. After the election she was expressing her opinon about what she felt was a bad choice of president elect. She believed that McCain was the better choice and that the other was a bad choice. I thought we had a right to say what we want to. But, my nine year old daughter was told she was wrong and she has been kicked out of the group of girls that she use to hang with.

I tryed to tell her that her light shines from within and not to let anyone else take that away from her. but to a young lady, who has more intelect that most adult's well, it's tough.

And as a father. It's not any better.

Going to spend time with her she is out of the shower.

Hope you read this John. And any father advise would be great.

Michael. Hopefully Your Friend.

Finding peace

How, do you find peace. A couple of weeks ago one of my co-workers got drunk and did something stupid. He got out his gun and started telling everone that he, (well he never really said I want to kill myself I guess it was just the action of putting the gun to his head that tipped us off) anyway,

We had a four and a half standoff which, might I add was a talk down. and it ended up with him getting the help he needed. He had a problem with his family and the way they had treated him. But somewhere in the middle of this I feel it could have ended up alittle different than it did. I know what he is going through and can feel his pain. I feel that if I would have just walked up to him I could have defused it sooner and with less attention, to say that the cops were called and then the swat team was called out and it turned out to be this long draw out ordeal was an understatement.

Which part of the story was alittle funny. here we are with a fireman with a gun to his head and then the cops show up and start surronding him and one of the cops has to use our ladder and climb the fence well the cop hands his assult rifle over to me while he climbs the fence and handed it back to him. Here was one fireman with a gun and the cops are handing another fireman a gun. how strange is that. just a little thought.

Anyway since I had that incident I find myself with trying to find my own peace. First of all No I don't not want to harm myself. It's not in my nature. and second my family will always come first. but now I have dug my own grave, sort to speak. I am at home with my family and I thought that was a peaceful thought. but to clear my mind of all the things that hurt me I find myself drowning out that pain with a couple of drinks. and when I am at work I lay awake for hours at night with the thoughts of how fast my life has gone by.

Thinking that now at 42 fixing to be 43 that so much of my life has gone and thinking about all the mistakes and wrong choices that I have made. I kinda know why we only get one chance at this game of life. I just have to keep looking for that peace, I know I will find it I just hope it's not to late.

Thanks for listening.

I have one last thing to share with you. for this blog. not the end just the end of the blog. Goodness have you not been listening. It's not like I am going to end this. That way. So here is my little thought for you. scroll down.

How do we see you.

How do we see you. that is something that tells a tale.

First I want to know what we are? can anyone define us. ? what are we. John. help me here.
When I look at the human body I see veins. I see structral bone parts. I see what most people see with out seeing. I wish I could let eveyone know what I see. But with that if I did let everone see what I see. I don't think they would look. For me life is not that easy. I know to much. and then again I don't know enought.

I wish that I could put into words what it means to be able to see past the skin. and show the real people. I hope that john read this and gives me a chance to put into words what I am all about and tell my story.

New Start

Well, I have ben off for awhile. I guess things are getting back to normal, as noral as they can be.
Christmas was great and a great start to the New Year.
Work is the same, people just don't get the meaning of Medical Emergency. but I am not here to discuss that.

I am working on making some changes to myself. I have great new ideals and things for myself. One is not letting anyone get to me and make me angry. and the other is self improvements.
Will try and keep you posted.

Sports

I don't get it. What's up with the sports thing. Why are so many people afflicted with the sickness of sports. I look at some very smart people and try to figure out what makes an intelligent person think that sport's is the second comming. I was just trying to figure out when some football player was at my house to pay my electric bill or cut my grass or tend to my sick child when she was about to die. where were they or what about reading a bed time story. for god sake what is the hell is it that makes some guy playing basket ball so important. did he stop my daughter from falling off her bike or what about the time when she was sad about the grade that she got from school on a test. was anyone of those assholes there. NO> NO NO> NO>
NOT ONE OF THOSE FUCK"IN PEOPLE WERE THERE>>>>>L>>>>>>>>>>>>> I Was being a father to my child., But all those sports player that Knocked up those young black girls was not there to take care of there children and provide a father figure. NO> THEY WERE OFF PLAYING SPORTS . YOU STUPID PEOPLE>>> sorry I can't speak the truth because I might get some people out there that might get mad at me because they can't get offend . but that's ok. because I can't upset anyone else because I have to defend my life.l NOT THAT ANY FUCK"IN FOOTBALL PLAYER REALLY HAD ANYTHING TO DO WITH ANY KIND OF LIFE other THAN DRUGS AND LYING TO THE PEO[PLE THAT THINK HE IS A GOD =




SO THE NEXT TIME YOU GO AND PAY YOUR ELECTRIC BILL. WHERE IS THE SPORTS PLAYER LIVING IN HIS EXPENSIVE HOUSE LAUGHING AT YOU DUMB ASS.;.......... WHATA MAKES HIM SO IMPORTANT..,..... YOU DUMB FOLLOWERS..... FUCK IN FOLLOW THE FUCK;IN SPORTS PLAYIN AND ALL THE STAT'S WHAT THAT GOING TO DO TO FILL YOUR STOMACH TOMORROW NIGHT OR FEED YOUR KID. OR BETTER YET. WHEN YOUR KID GET'S A BULLET IN THE BACK OF HIS HEAD AND NEVER COMES HOME BECAUSE HE HAD A SPORTS JACKET ON HIS BACK AND SOME THUG WANT'S IT MORE THAN YOU SON'S OR DAUGHTERS LIFE . THAN I SUPPORT THE SPORTS THAT YOU JUST REALIZE TOOK YOU SON OR DAUGHTER >>>>>GOD SPORTS IS GREAT........... you DESERVE EVERYTHING THAT YOU HAVE COMMING.





SPORTS. IS GREAT.;.....

What is true

Why is it, a man or men have decided what part of the bible is inportant to me? I am not sure what person is so inportant as they can tell me what part of the bible I should read. and what part they want to include in the bible? And as far as church goes. what a wonderful income I can have if I just say that I know God and I will get you closer. but do they really. No. they just keep the wallets full of those that find it easy to say, hey just follow me and I will show you the way for just $19.95 I will show you God but that's not all if you act now we will include these great set of bibles that have your initial's on them and we will rush deliver them to you in 4 to 6 weeks. offer not valid in the US or Canda.


So I ask you again. Who except God has any right to hide or tell me what part of The word of God I should read. Let me check. How many people read the bible and think that they will get into heaven based on what I have read. well just about anyone with $19.95. But hey that's not all if you act now. we will include ever lasting life. Gee does that not sound like real life. NO>LLL

So were is real faith. or do you have to check with the preacher. who lives in a house (very nice house) and drives a big nice car and well God does not want his preachers running around in some beat up peice of junk. or eating cat food. but hey that's what God want's


I just don't understand BLIND FAITH IN MAN> because when was the last time you stood up in church and asked the preacher anything during his speach about his life, when he sould be talking about GOD>