How, do you find peace. A couple of weeks ago one of my co-workers got drunk and did something stupid. He got out his gun and started telling everone that he, (well he never really said I want to kill myself I guess it was just the action of putting the gun to his head that tipped us off) anyway,
We had a four and a half standoff which, might I add was a talk down. and it ended up with him getting the help he needed. He had a problem with his family and the way they had treated him. But somewhere in the middle of this I feel it could have ended up alittle different than it did. I know what he is going through and can feel his pain. I feel that if I would have just walked up to him I could have defused it sooner and with less attention, to say that the cops were called and then the swat team was called out and it turned out to be this long draw out ordeal was an understatement.
Which part of the story was alittle funny. here we are with a fireman with a gun to his head and then the cops show up and start surronding him and one of the cops has to use our ladder and climb the fence well the cop hands his assult rifle over to me while he climbs the fence and handed it back to him. Here was one fireman with a gun and the cops are handing another fireman a gun. how strange is that. just a little thought.
Anyway since I had that incident I find myself with trying to find my own peace. First of all No I don't not want to harm myself. It's not in my nature. and second my family will always come first. but now I have dug my own grave, sort to speak. I am at home with my family and I thought that was a peaceful thought. but to clear my mind of all the things that hurt me I find myself drowning out that pain with a couple of drinks. and when I am at work I lay awake for hours at night with the thoughts of how fast my life has gone by.
Thinking that now at 42 fixing to be 43 that so much of my life has gone and thinking about all the mistakes and wrong choices that I have made. I kinda know why we only get one chance at this game of life. I just have to keep looking for that peace, I know I will find it I just hope it's not to late.
Thanks for listening.
I have one last thing to share with you. for this blog. not the end just the end of the blog. Goodness have you not been listening. It's not like I am going to end this. That way. So here is my little thought for you. scroll down.
